Damnit!

Fuck!  I am so extremely upset right now.  So I told Mark Soto that I wanted to leave Fiesta, because I got a $412 paycheck today.  And he has the balls and the audacity to tell me “You can’t leave, I’m not gonna let you.”  I mean, what the fuck!?  Isn’t this a free country?  This isn’t communist fucking Russia!  Ugh!

I am getting married in 8 days, and I cant afford to make that much money on a paycheck.  I have bills that I have to pay that are due NOW and there’s nothing I can do about that.  I guess I set my goals too high.  I wanted to be the perfect husband who works his tail off so that his wife could have the liberty of CHOOSING whether or not she wanted to work, and I cant even fucking do that.  It just drives me insane…

I just want to make money, is there something wrong with that?  So I call my Mom tonight and she tells me I am a prophet or something and I need to go before God and ask him what I should do, and try to make sure that whatever I do is according to His word.  Thanks a lot Mom, I appreciate the help.  I hate being the one to beg off people, I hate it more than anything ever.  I need a new job…

I feel like crying…. Fucking assholes!